‘No Man Is An Island’ – part 3

Andy McKillop

Part 3 of Andy’s Story – in his own words

An old friend was now a partner in a plant nursery not far from where we lived. Nick and his partner John gave me some part-time work and I learned so much from them and can’t begin to tell them how grateful I am to them for it. But I thought I’d try to get a more advanced qualifications.  Ah! I had taken a step too far. I still had aphasia, and still had difficulties processing information. I narrowly failed the written exams but was thrilled to pass the practical exam with flying colours. I didn’t end up with an Advanced Certificate, but I did end up a lot more knowledge about gardens and gardening. And so, for the past 5 years or so, I’ve been gardening and loving it and have learned to recognize that my stroke has left me with some problems that I’ll probably just have to accept and accept smilingly.

By 2009, our children had grown up and we had a grandson.  My wife had been working since 2004 in London with a punishing commute from Hertfordshire, so we moved to London, closer to daughter, son-in-law and grandson and closer to my wife’s work; we got rid of so much stuff (books, pictures, furniture, 20 years worth of clutter) that we felt lighter than we had for years. Back in London,  wanting to try volunteering to support people with aphasia like me, I sent an email to Dr Tony Rudd who was in charge of the stroke unit at St Thomas’s when I had my stroke to ask his advice about volunteering; and he put me in touch with CONNECT as his unit and the charity were running various projects together.

And so I began to come to Connect, not only as someone who has had a stroke and has aphasia, but I’ve also had training at Connect to be one of the befrienders who go to visit people who had just recently had a stroke and who want to find out a bit more about life after a stroke and living with aphasia;  I’ve also had training at Connect to be one of our ‘Ambassadors’ – people with aphasia who go to speak to institutions, bodies, companies about the problems of aphasia, to tell them that people with aphasia have their own problems but are still active and  intelligent people; and I’ve also become a member of one of  Connect’s local aphasia hubs. I can’t believe how busy my voluntary life has become, how fulfilling it is. I’m so pleased to be able to go to the Drop-in session at the Connect offices on a Thursday and to meet up with other people who have had a stroke and have aphasia – old and young, from all walks of life. And that feeling of community that I found had disappeared when I had to retire from my publishing work? – well, I’ve found it again. I’m proud to be part of the Connect community and feel almost as if I now have a new, extended family. And that phrase from John Donne? Maybe he’s right – ‘no man is an island’.